One person’s view: “Imagine a song so dripping with entitlement that it makes you question the singer’s upbringing. ... The lyrics are a masterclass in audacity, as the singer attempts to convince a woman to abandon her life for his.” – Joe @ I Love Classic Rock
The public’s view: 2.33 / 5.00
What would pop music be without mindlessly fun, catchy bubblegum tunes by teen idols who look better than they sound? Sadly, however, these types of songs generally get low scores from reviewers and are not fondly remembered by most listeners. Many of them feature a woefully substandard vocal performance. (See New Kids on the Block.) Many have exceptionally bad instrumentation. (See New Kids on the Block.) Many include phenomenally stupid lyrics. (See Kenny G. No, just kidding, see New Kids on the Block.) Bobby Sherman’s “Little Woman” doesn’t exhibit any of these three problems, but it still manages to gall some critics with the singer’s condescension toward the title character.
The lyrics are indeed obnoxious if we take them at face value. This man is admonishing a female to stop chasing rainbows and come down from the clouds because he thinks her goals are crazy and are not worth pursuing. To be fair, he may be completely justified in doubting her. This is a little woman, after all, and she might harbor pie-in-the-sky ambitions of becoming a pro basketball player or of shopping in the grown-up section of the clothing store. Still, he should at least pretend to be more supportive. If she wants to be an airplane pilot, he should help her find some extenders so that her feet can reach the rudder pedals. Instead, he belittles her – quite literally – by repeatedly referencing her Lilliputian dimensions.
Scratch beyond the surface, however, and you will find that “Little Woman” is a spoof of chauvinism and that the male is in fact the butt of the joke. The singer mocks the diminutive woman’s lofty dreams, but then admits that nothing is going on in his own life aside from his unrequited obsession with her. He sees her in his mind constantly. He asks if she has similar visions of him when she walks down a busy street, but she’s just trying to avoid drowning in a puddle or getting licked in the face by a dachshund. She’s not thinking of that loser at all... and therefore he’s the one living in a fantasyland! Who would have thought that a Bobby Sherman song could contain an ironic twist worthy of an O. Henry story?
And who would have thought that a whole bevy of musicians would be needed to make a bubblegum record targeted at adolescent girls? According to Wikipedia, this song features five horn players, six violinists, and even a cello. It’s too bad that similar production values weren’t applied to the teen-oriented music that raged across the U.S. in the late 1980s and early 1990s. Imagine Yo-Yo Ma playing a centuries-old Stradivarius cello while Donnie Wahlberg and Jordan Knight prance around in front of him. That would have blown through the New Kids’ $8.52 studio budget in a hurry.
All things considered, I have to take the minority view on “Little Woman”. Aside from the surprising depth in the lyrics and the quality work by the musicians, it clocks in at the ideal length for a teenybopper song: 2 minutes and 22 seconds. I give it credit for not overstaying its welcome.
My rating: 6 / 10
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