One writer’s view: “Is there anything more lovely than the voices of little children in song? Most things, actually.” – J.A. Bartlett @ Pop Dose
The public’s view: 1.22 / 5.00
Nostalgia is a valuable defense mechanism that can protect you from the stress of existing. Whenever life gets too tough, simply close your eyes and daydream about those childhood days when you didn’t have a care in the world. Let someone else restock the potato chip aisle, reboot the web server, or drive Ladder Truck 66 to the scene of a working structure fire. You cannot be bothered right now. This is the message of Clint Holmes’s “Playground in My Mind”.
Of course, nostalgia always involves remembering events as being better than they really were. Holmes’s narrator recalls happily taunting other kids about having a nickel and planning to buy candy with it. This is something that no sensible child would ever do on a playground, because children learn very quickly not to flaunt their wealth. Aside from the obvious risk of another kid knocking you down and taking your nickel, there is a chance that some adult do-gooder will intervene at the sound of your boasting. Soon you will be taught a lesson about “sharing” and how a nickel is just five pennies that can be redistributed more equitably among you and your playmates and siblings. It’s funny how a grown-up can vote Republican in every election but then morph into Bernie Sanders the moment a child has a financial windfall.
Holmes also reminisces about telling a girl on the playground that they will get married someday and then he will knock her up. Again, this is not something that the narrator would have said or thought as a small child. Kids may know how to guard a nickel properly, but they do not have conventional notions of matrimony such as those expressed in this song. I can recall my erstwhile young friends discussing what their eventual marriages would be like, and their plans consisted mostly of bigamy, incest, and unlikely arrangements with the cast of Charlie’s Angels. A more true-to-life chorus of “Playground” would feature the boy expressing these sorts of unrealistic and taboo nuptial ambitions. For example, he might declare that he will marry Edith Bunker because she reminds him of his grandmother – whom he also intends to marry.
Otherwise, “Playground” consists of elements that do not belong together, starting with Clint Holmes’s lounge singer act. He is a little too serious for a near-novelty record such as this, and comes across like a less self-aware version of Tom Jones. He teams up with songwriter Paul Vance’s 7-year-old son on the choruses, and Holmes’s voice pretty much knocks poor little Philip Vance out of the studio. Then comes the instrumental bridge, which sounds like an ice cream truck having a nervous breakdown. Somehow the combination of all of these indecorous musical ideas actually yields a catchy little song. It isn’t a masterpiece by any stretch, but it’s tolerable for about two or three listens. I find that it helps if you make up your own words as you sing along. (“My girl is Edith / She is a dingbat / She will divorce old Archie for me...”)
Holmes’s single languished for months after its release in June 1972, but then a radio station in Kansas started playing it as a Christmas song. Because, of course, “Playground in My Mind” is almost as Christmasy as palm trees, Buddha, and the 4th of July. The song got some requests, other stations picked it up, and soon Holmes was rushed into the studio to record an even more childish follow-up: “Shiddle-Ee-Dee”. This latter tune would prove to be a career-making record. Not for Clint Holmes, but for Barry Manilow, because it ensured that Manilow would never have to worry about competition from Clint on the radio.
This doesn’t mean that Holmes just faded away into nothingness. He has entertained tourists in Vegas and Atlantic City, and he wrote, produced, and starred in an autobiographical musical play that made its debut in 1996. Can you imagine two and a half hours of watching Clint Holmes act out such personal milestones as his childhood spelling bee win, his ruined prom night, and his wedding? There aren’t many better excuses for retreating to the playground in your mind.
My rating: 4 / 10
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